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Should you marry a non-ponder? There are many weddings, going on even as you read this, where this important question has not even been considered. Now I know that the idea of it is definitely shocking, but those things do happen in the real world so we have to consider it. In fact, I have been married to my first wife, a non-ponder for over 30 years, but I think if something happened to her, I would only look at ponder women for a prospective second wife. My wife is in good health so don't think I am too serious about this second wife business, but one does have to think ahead. So how would I go about picking this pond woman? Since I have only been married once, I don't have a lot of experience to call on, but here is what I would do. First I would request a picture! No, no, not of her, but of her pond! Maybe I would post something to one of those lonely heart clubs that read something like this, "Lonely 50-ish widower, wanting woman for serious pond relationship. Must have at least three years of pond experience and be able to clean filters, treat sick fish, raise water lilies, lift at least 50 pounds, and chase frogs. Age, race, religion, and beauty are not important, but husky women will receive higher consideration. Please send large picture of pond." Now that ought to get a few good responses. Now why would I want to only marry a ponder woman? Well, non-ponders just don't understand why another pond or a larger pond is really necessary. They also complain about the costs of things, such as spending $60 on a lotus, $150 on a good quality pump, or $200 on a prize koi. Now how can you honestly put a value on such an important thing as ponding? Now I know some of you are between marriages, or at least thinking about it, or maybe like me, just speculating, so what do you think, should you marry a Non-ponder? Ed Haris (via, Internet Ponder May/June 1999) |
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